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PostPosted: Thu 15 Dec 2016 8:50 pm 
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Hi all!

I'm looking for help with translating a pilot's prayer from English to Irish Gaelic. My boyfriend has just completed his third and final deployment to Afghanistan with the US Army. He is now transitioning to non-military life as a pilot. I am doing this for him and for one of his Christmas presents.

All that said...
I have tried to do a rough translation on my own. And when I say rough, I mean I was flying blind with all of my translations and really have no idea if any of what I wrote makes an ounce of sense. :) I'll include the original version I am trying to translate as well as my attempt at translation. ANY help would be greatly appreciated.


Original version by Mary C.D. Hamilton

Lord, guard and guide the men who fly
Through the great spaces of the sky.
Be with them traversing the air
In darkening storms for sunshine fair.

Thou who dost keep with tender might
The balanced birds in all their flight.
Thou of the tempered winds, be near,
That, having thee, they know no fear.

Control their minds with instinct fit
What time, adventuring, they quit
the firm security of land;
Grant steadfast eye and skillful hand.

Aloft in solitudes of space,
Uphold them with your saving grace.
O God, protect the men who fly
Through lonely ways beneath the sky.

Amen.

Now, here's my butchered attempt.

A Thiarna, garda agus treoir a thabhairt do fir eitilt.
Trí na spásanna móra an ar spéir.
Bí leo eitlit trían aer,
Trí stoirmeacha dorcha nó aonach gréine.

Tá tú a choinneál le neart milis
Na héin chotthromaithe i ngach a eitilt.
Tá tú na gaotha éagsúla, le do thoil a bheith in aice,
Sin, tar éis duit, tá a fhios acu aon eagla.

Treoir maidir n-intinn,
Cé t-am, iniúchadh, scor said an t-urrús daingean talún,
Sú thugo daingean agus lámh sa tír a dheonú.

Ag eitilt i an uaigneas spás,
Seasamh iad le do ghrásta a shábháil.
O dhia, a chosaint na fir a eitilt
Trí bhealaí uaigneach faoi bhun an spéir.

Again, ANY help would be appreciated.

Thank you.


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PostPosted: Thu 15 Dec 2016 11:03 pm 
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Location: Baile Mhic Ghoilla Eoin, VA
Murphygirl wrote:
I am doing this for him and for one of his Christmas presents.
Will it be cross-stitched onto a quilt or something? A lovely idea albeit very ambitious!! :-)

Murphygirl wrote:
Lord, guard and guide the men who fly
Through the great spaces of the sky.
Be with them traversing the air
In darkening storms for sunshine fair.

A Thiarna, garda agus treoir a thabhairt do fir eitilt.
Trí na spásanna móra an ar spéir.
Bí leo eitlit trían aer,
Trí stoirmeacha dorcha nó aonach gréine.


I am impressed by your effort -- even though I can find many issues with it and mistakes that stand out to me, I can tell you put a lot of effort into it.
I think I will give the first stanza a try, maybe try some more if I have more time later.

Go gcosnaí an Tiarna na heitleoirí go léir
Go dtreoraí Sé iad ina dturais san aer
Ar fhairsinge na spéire go raibh Dia leo
Is go dtaitní an ghrian gheal orthu go deo


I had to be creative to get the rhyme and the meter to fit, but I think it ended up well.

A backtranslation of my attempt above:
May the Lord guard all pilots
May He guide them in their trips in the air
In the open sky may God be with them
And may the bright sun always shine on them

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PostPosted: Fri 16 Dec 2016 2:25 am 
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Joined: Thu 15 Dec 2016 3:08 pm
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Oh my goodness...I was off...not just a little bit but WAY WAY off. My translation is not even remotely close to yours. Clearly, I will not be an Irish Gaelic translator any time soon. ;)

My problem is I try to translate this sentence exactly how I see it. I don't have enough knowledge to think of how it would really be said or the correct usage of the words. I'm too literal with it.

I sincerely appreciate your help translating the first part. If you feel like trying other parts, that would be fantastic. If not, what you've done helps me tremendously.

Yes, I'm making a cross stitch for him with this saying. I stitched him a soldier's prayer (in English) before his third deployment. This attempt is ambitious. Starting to become regrettable? Also, yes. ;) But if only stitch the part that you translated instead of my attempt, it makes it that much easier for me. Ha ha.

Thank you again for the effort that you have already put in.


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PostPosted: Fri 16 Dec 2016 5:16 am 
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Location: Baile Mhic Ghoilla Eoin, VA
Murphygirl wrote:
Oh my goodness...I was off...not just a little bit but WAY WAY off. My translation is not even remotely close to yours. Clearly, I will not be an Irish Gaelic translator any time soon. ;)

My problem is I try to translate this sentence exactly how I see it. I don't have enough knowledge to think of how it would really be said or the correct usage of the words. I'm too literal with it.

Oh don't think that! I would say the majority of the time a literal translation is exactly what you want!

Murphygirl wrote:
I sincerely appreciate your help translating the first part. If you feel like trying other parts, that would be fantastic. If not, what you've done helps me tremendously.

Yes, I'm making a cross stitch for him with this saying. I stitched him a soldier's prayer (in English) before his third deployment. This attempt is ambitious. Starting to become regrettable? Also, yes. ;) But if only stitch the part that you translated instead of my attempt, it makes it that much easier for me. Ha ha.

Thank you again for the effort that you have already put in.

That really sounds like a beautiful idea. Of course, please do not use my translation until others have looked at it!! I like to think everyone will love it, but chances are they will find errors in it. I am not a native speaker of Irish, unfortunately. It is definitely best to wait for feedback from others before stitching anything.
I might try doing more tomorrow :O

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PostPosted: Fri 16 Dec 2016 9:23 pm 
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Murphygirl wrote:
Lord, guard and guide the men who fly
Through the great spaces of the sky.
Be with them traversing the air
In darkening storms for sunshine fair.

[...]

Aloft in solitudes of space,
Uphold them with your saving grace.
O God, protect the men who fly
Through lonely ways beneath the sky.


Cúmhaí wrote:
Go gcosnaí an Tiarna na heitleoirí go léir
Go dtreoraí Sé iad ina dturais san aer
Ar fhairsinge na spéire go raibh Dia leo
Is go dtaitní an ghrian gheal orthu go deo


Os cionn na farraige is os cionn talún,
Go dtacaí Sé leo trína dheonú is pardún.
Go gcumhdaí an Tiarna na heitleoirí go léir
Ina n-aonar ina dturais in airde san aer


That was my attempt at the last stanza. I tried to make the last two lines recollect the first two as in the original. I would really appreciate some feedback

Here is my back-translation:
Above the sea and above the land
May He support them through his grace and pardon
May the Lord preserve all pilots
Alone on their trips up in the air

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PostPosted: Sat 07 Jan 2017 5:48 pm 
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The first verse:

A little tweek. I'm not saying this is any better than yours a Chumhaí. I am very bad at poetry and spelling. So it would be great if other people commented on it too.

Go gcosnaí an Tiarna na heitleoirí go léir
Go dtreoraí sé iad tríd a dturais san aer
tríd fairsinge na spéire go raibh Dia leo
idir stoirm dhorcha agus scaladh gréine go gcuinnaí (?) sé slán iad.


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