Modh earcaíochta an FBI


AN SCÉAL

Bhí post feallmharfóra á thairiscint ag an FBI. Agus an tseiceáil cúlra, na hagallaimh, na tástálacha déanta acu, bhí triúr fágtha san iomaíocht - beirt fhear agus bean.
Don scrúdú deireanach thug gníomhaire dá gcuid duine de na fir chuig doras mór miotail agus chuir siad gunna ina láimh á rá leis: “Caithfimid deimhin a dhéanamh de go ndéanfaidh tú mar a déarfar leat is cuma faoi thoscaí ar bith. Taobh istigh den seomra seo tá do bhean ina suí ar chathaoir. Maraigh í!”
“Níl tú i ndáiríre, níl mé in ann mo bhean a lámhach,” arsa an fear. Dúirt an gníomhaire leis: Más mar sin atá, ní tusa an fear ceart don obair seo. Beir leat do bhean chéile agus téigí abhaile.”
Tugadh na treoracha céanna don dara fear. Rug sé ar an ngunna agus isteach leis sa seomra. Bhí ciúnas ann ar feadh thart air cúig óiméad agus b’shiúd leis amach agus deora lena shúile aige, “Rinne mé gach iarracht ach ní raibh mé in ann mo bhean chéile a mharú.” Séard a dúirt an gníomhaire leis ná: “Níl an t-ábhar ceart ionat féin. Beir leat do bhean chéile agus abhaile libh beirt.”
Ar deireadh tháinig babhta na mná. Tugadh treoracha di a fear chéile a mharú. Rug sí ar an ngunna agus isteach sa seomra léi. Bhí urchair gunna le cloisteáil - ceann i ndiaidh a chéile. Chualathas screadaíl, pléascanna, buailtí ar na ballaí. Théis cúpla óiméad ní raibh tada le cloisteáil. Hosclaíodh an doras go mall agus bhí an bhean ina seasamh ann. Chuimil sí an t-allas dá héadan.
Théis di teacht amach chuir na gníomairí ceist uirthi céard a tharla. “Bhuel, tá duine eicint théis an gunna a lódáil le lón lámhaigh balbh, ach ná bígí buartha - tá mé tar éis úsáid a bhaint as an gcathaoir chun é a bhualadh chun báis.”


SOUNDFILE / COMHAD FUAIME

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ENGLISH VERSION
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!”
The man said, “You can’t be serious, I could never shoot my wife.” The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.”
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes before the man came out with tears in his eyes, “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent said, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.
When she emerged, the FBI agents asked her what had happened. “Well, someone had loaded the gun with blanks. But don’t worry, I beat him to death with the chair!”

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Bí cinnte de go nglacfaidh triúr le gach aistriúchán a thabharfar.
Be sure to get three in agreement with a translation given.

An bhfuil an brí "a while" leis an bhfocal "babhta" i gConamara. Mar shampla, Do chaitheas babhta sa Bhuailtín.

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The dialect I use is Cork Irish.
Ar sgáth a chéile a mhairid na daoine, lag agus láidir, uasal is íseal

i ndáiríre: 'in earnest' has the word 'in' in in English, and so people sometimes think it should be there in Irish. It is just dáiríre in proper Irish.

The whole thing was in fact a joke I heard, and I thought it would be no harm to pass it on translated to Gaeilge so that those of us who have Irish can read it and listen to it and have a laugh as well.

I do have to qualify the 'proper Irish' reference for the benefit of those who are not so familiar with the Gaeilge and who are learning it.

'I ndáiríre' is in the language as 'in earnest'.
At least I hope it is . I have heard it and use it regularly. In fact I wonder was it the English speakers who went and stole it from Irish originally!! But, God love them, who could blame them for needing to nick the logical bits from the Gaeilge - i ndáiríre... LOL...

Seriously, though, perhaps others can come in here and verify this (or tell me that I am all wet and cannot possibly be 'dáiríre' about this at all), but:
I see nothing wrong with
Níl tú i ndáiríre = You are not serious (in what you are saying)
or we can also have:
Níl tú dáiríre = You don't mean it / You are not sincere / you are not serious! (in what you are saying)

Samples:
Duine dáiríre = a serious person
Caint dháiríre = serious talk
I ndáiríre, tá xx ... = In reality, xx is ...

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Bí cinnte de go nglacfaidh triúr le gach aistriúchán a thabharfar.
Be sure to get three in agreement with a translation given.

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Dháiríre?† In the "proper" Irish of Dinneen, under dá ríribh it says "oft. i nd[áiríre]." Certainly seems like this "mistake" has been around a long time!

@Braoin - Nárbh é an CIA a bhí gceist sa scéal, a charaid? Ceapaim nach bhfuil cead ag an FBI an dlí a shárú, ach maidir leis an dream eile, tá siadsan in ann cibé cé is maith leo a dhéanamh.


†As an interjection meaning "really, seriously" dáiríre is usually lenited to dháiríre in Connemara.

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WARNING: Intermediate speaker - await further opinions, corrections and adjustments before acting on my advice.
My "specialty" is Connemara Irish, particularly Cois Fhairrge dialect.
Is fearr Gaeilge ḃriste ná Béarla cliste, cinnte, aċ i ḃfad níos fearr aríst í Gaeilge ḃinn ḃeo na nGaeltaċtaí.
Gaeilge Chonnacht (GC), go háraid Gaeilge Chois Fhairrge (GCF), agus Gaeilge an Chaighdeáin Oifigiúil (CO).

Is é ach níl mé in ann sin a rá! Shhhhhhh!

(NB) Ag tús na habairte deirtear 'dháiríre' - níl a fhios a'am cén fáth ach tá sé níos nádúrtha is dóigh!

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Bí cinnte de go nglacfaidh triúr le gach aistriúchán a thabharfar.
Be sure to get three in agreement with a translation given.

"In earnest" is not a Gaelicism in English - it is in Shakespeare's Richard III play.

It can be difficult to separate out the impact of English on Irish nowadays - things heard on TG4 are not necessarily things that could have been heard two centuries ago. And things that are accepted now have to be seen as in the language regardless. But if Dinneen has it, it must have been a possible form, and probably it was centuries ago too. Breandán - it is hard to find dáiríre in Dinneen's dictionary. I've now realised it is under dá ríribh, a two-word headword.

After thinking about this, I think that "are you serious?" and "are you in earnest?" are an bhfuil tú dáiríre (or dáiríribh)? , with i ndáiríre used in instances like rud a rá i ndáiríre.

Maybe someone will say there is no difference in meaning between these two sentences, so I maybe making a false distinction.

I gCorca Dhuibhne, labhraítear an Ghaelainn i sult agus i bhfeirg, i magadh agus i ndáiríre, in aighneas agus i síocháin - ó, an ea? An bhfuil tú dáiríre mar gheall air sin?

Dáiríre is lá amú é an lá nach mbíonn rud nua eicint le foghlaim ann ag duine.

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Bí cinnte de go nglacfaidh triúr le gach aistriúchán a thabharfar.
Be sure to get three in agreement with a translation given.