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PostPosted: Wed 24 Oct 2018 1:49 pm 
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Posts: 962
standardized:

le hualach (instead of le ualach)
sa cholainn (instead of sa gcolainn)


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PostPosted: Wed 24 Oct 2018 10:25 pm 
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Joined: Thu 17 May 2018 1:47 pm
Posts: 19
Getting more and more excited. But I’ll take your advice and practice patience. Also, Bríd Mhór, don’t worry about the rhyming…I’m not a big fan of forcing rhyming. Life doesn’t rhyme; it’s confusing at times and beautiful at others. But it doesn’t always rhyme.


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PostPosted: Mon 19 Nov 2018 8:48 pm 
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Joined: Thu 17 May 2018 1:47 pm
Posts: 19
Hey guys, I was just checking in. I have been watching from afar as grading exams has taken up a lot of my time. And I have come to realize that I need (read: neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed) a way out of education. Please help me! Just kidding. Sort of, but not really.

As Thanksgiving approaches for us yanks (even us expats), I just wanted to say thank you for your help so far.


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PostPosted: Tue 20 Nov 2018 10:54 am 
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Joined: Thu 01 Sep 2011 11:36 pm
Posts: 74
This looks really good to me. Usually, once someone translates something well, I can see where and why it's good. If I can add anything, I will post.

As for rhyming, I think most of the translators here have seen some of the translations done from Irish into English, and vice versa, where the original was in rhyme and the translation was also made to rhyme. That was a long time ago and many of those translations seemed stilted and forced, although at the time I imagine people enjoyed translating and reading them. It is amazing to me that they were able to do that. I'm glad you are not asking for that because I remember there being requests at another Irish translation forum quite a while ago. :panic:


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PostPosted: Tue 20 Nov 2018 2:29 pm 
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Joined: Thu 17 May 2018 1:47 pm
Posts: 19
Thanks for letting me know. I’ll insert it in the book! Every step is a step closer to a labor of love being completed. Thank you.

I never understood the absolute need to rhyme. First of all, poetry mirrors life (or vice versa) and life isn’t always grand. Poetry should flow, it should be choppy, it should...it should be alive. And secondly, why force a rhyme scheme when translating? It’s the message that counts…not the sound of a vowel at the end of a sentence.

If there are no protests I’ll post the next installment?

Again, no matter how many times I say “thank you” it will not truly convey how thankful I truly am.


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PostPosted: Wed 21 Nov 2018 5:29 pm 
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Joined: Thu 17 May 2018 1:47 pm
Posts: 19
Ok, so I didn’t hear any complaints...here’s the next one. I know it’s a bit long. Sorry, this character grew on me. She’s too...alive!

Wounds of death have healed

“Is this the way one behaves,
a way a queen is to be treated,
a queen who loves you so dear?”


Rise up, dear friend,
awaken from your slumber
it is of darkens that you dream
but it is in the light that you must live.”

“Pain does haunt us,
yet pain does call us.”

“Weep, my friend,
tears of loss,
allow them to flow.
Though bitter and painful
your vision will clear,
your heart will mend.
What you have seen,
would many refuse,
if given the chance
into realms hidden, to see.
If this view
had you seen
and shed not a tear,
would be proof unforgiving
of a soul long dead.

“Child of Lutetia
with intentions sincere,
like a boat
at sea, afloat
with each crashing wave
further from truth,
unanchored,
it is you, further adrift.
Life in this world
does not hang
on the scales
of what can be seen.
Justice in this life
depends not
on life balanced
between good and evil deemed.


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PostPosted: Sat 24 Nov 2018 2:28 am 
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Joined: Thu 01 Sep 2011 11:36 pm
Posts: 74
I think the above translations are very good. There are a lot of options in translating and, of course, corrections, polishing up after the whole thing has been done. I have made an effort to translate your recent posting with the understanding that it needs checking, and at least a few, if not many changes.

Cuireadh créachtaí an bháis tar éis leigheas

An é seo an bealach a iompraíonn duine,
bealach a gcaithfear banríon a chóireáil,
banríon a bhfuil grá chomh daor aici duit?

Ardaigh suas, a chara,
dhúisigh thú ó do chodlata;
tá sé faoi dorchadas go mbrionglóinn tú.
ach tá sé sa solas go gcaithfidh tú.

Bíonn pian ag baint linn,
ach bíonn pian ag glaoch orainn.

Caoin, a chara,
deora caillteanais,
lig duit sreabhadh a dhéanamh.
Cé a bheidh géar pianmhar
beidh soiléir ar do fhís,
cuirfidh do chroí in iúl.
Na rudaí a chonaic tú,
bheadh daoine go leor diúltú,
má thugtar an seans
isteach i bhfíoracha i bhfolach, a fheiceáil.
Má chonaic tú
an dearcadh seo
gan cuimilt a sheachaint,
bheadh e seo cruthúnas neamhthillte
d'anam fada marbh.

Leanbh Lutetia (Luitesia?)
le hintinn ó chroí,
cosúil le bád
ar muir, ar leataobh
le gach tonn tuirseach
níos faide on fhírinne,
gan ancaire,
‘sé tusa féin, ag sruthán breise amach.
Ní chrochann
an saol sa domhan seo
ar na scálaí
atá le feiceáil.
Ní bhraitheann
an ceartas sa saol seo
ar an saol atá cothromaithe
idir a mheastar go maith agus olc.


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PostPosted: Sun 25 Nov 2018 11:28 am 
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Joined: Thu 17 May 2018 1:47 pm
Posts: 19
Fantastic! What a great weekend. Thanksgiving…even if celebrated across the pond. Alabama beats Auburn…and what a beat down it was! And then this!

I know I’m supposed to wait for further verification but I’ve added it to the book tentatively. It just makes me feel like I’m getting closer. And with all of your help, I am. Again- over and over- so grateful.

If there’s no complaints I’d like to keep plugging along. I really hope i don’t come across as being pushy. I’ve been working on this for almost 14 years and I’m so close. And all of your help energized me. If I come across as “pushy” please know it comes from a genuine place of excitement and gratitude.


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PostPosted: Mon 26 Nov 2018 10:46 am 
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Joined: Thu 17 May 2018 1:47 pm
Posts: 19
So, here is the latest...it's a bit shorter than the last one. Again and again...thank you, thank you, thank you.

“Through the realms
and further in between,
you, I know do see.
War awaits both man and worlds,
this you do know,
as prophecy does attest.
To the heavens cast your eyes
and upon the stars now gaze.
The stars a story
for generations have told—
written since time began.
In all its glory
her beauty does glisten
but ‘till now unfinished remained.
Four stars in ancient times once seen,
in ages hence long disappeared
will once again their glory reveal,
when the scales are tipped
Hell's fury will howl
the prophecy foretells.
Four stars this calling do yield,
four stars of early men;
the scales of justice,
the scales of life
shaken, unbalanced will be.
Those four stars now brighter shine
for those who choose to see.
One star—Tau,
yet hidden remains,
but once more will shine her light.
The scales of justice,
the scales of life
through sacrifice
balanced will be.”


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PostPosted: Wed 05 Dec 2018 9:47 am 
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Joined: Thu 01 Sep 2011 11:36 pm
Posts: 74
Get more input on this. I think this as well as the above translation(s) may need editing.

Is trí na réigiúin
agus níos mó eatarthu
go bhfuil a fhios agam a fheiceann tú.
Fanann an cogadh le fir agus le saol araon,
tá a fhios agat é seo,
mar a dheimhníonn tuar.
Caith do chuid súl do na flaithis
agus féachaint ar na réaltaí anois.
Tá scéal inis ag na réaltaí
do na glúnta -
scríobhadh é ó thosaigh an t-am.
Sa ghlóir go léir
lonraíonn sí a áilleacht
ach fós gan chríochnú go dtí seo.
D'imigh ceithre réaltaí a chonacthas
in amanna ársa as amharc fadó fadó,
ach nochtfaidh siad a n-ghlóir arís,
agus nuair a bhíonn na scálaí neamhchothromaithe
daingníonn an tuar
go mbeidh forneart an ifreann ag uallfartach.
Éistíonn ceithre réaltaí an glaoch seo,
ceithre réaltaí d'fhir ársa;
beidh na scálaí ceartais,
scálaí na saoil
croitheadh, neamhchothromaithe.
Tá na ceithre réaltaí sin anois níos gile
dóibh siúd a roghnaíonn a fheiceáil.
Tá réalta amháin - Tau,
fós i bhfolach,
ach beidh a solas ann arís.
Beidh na scálaí ceartais,
na scálaí saoil,
cothromaithe
trí íobairt.


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